I've been reading a book, The Alchemist, and it has actually been a very interesting book so far. It speaks of Personal Legends, and how we are set on a certain path by our chosen Gods, be it God, Allah, or even Buddha.
We've been put on this earth for one reason and there are many things that help us find it. Sometimes we are never going to find it since we've grown accustomed to our surroundings and afraid to change.
I've met people like that; people who talk of leaving our town and seeing the world, placing themselves in the path of what they want to do in life, but end up working in the same store and continue to dream. One person I know graduated two years before I did, and talked of going to Toronto to study film, but never got around to it. He made excuses, such as waiting for his cousin to finish school, then decided to work for some more money so he would not go broke. As time went on, his earning continued to go to haphazard items he bought of the Internet, or went to buying alcohol.
I was saddened at how he kept drinking his life away, working for more money and doing the same thing. It turned into the rinse and repeat syndrome of life; where all we do is the same thing and make excuses as to why they are not following through with what they said would be done.
I really didn't have the choice to reject my decision to go to college, since I held expectation for myself and others held higher ones for me.
so I arrived here. I'm not sure if I am following the path that was set for me, but I just don't know. I'm not religious and kneel down to no such Gods, but sometimes I feel as though I were meant to be here. I don't know how to explain the feeling, but I'm sure that many people feel the same way once they get to a certain point in their life. If not, they feel as if life is wasting away before them. How could we see if we did the right thing? I think that maybe if we were to feel happy, and lively about what we're doing, and making the choices to benefit the reasoning as to what we are we doing in that moment and time, we are following the set path that we are to lead in life.
We can never feel lost, and if we d, we have to look for the signs and signals that we see and wonder if we are to follow those signs. If we do, are we to find what makes us truly happy? Maybe we'll find things that make us very happy indeed and not want to leave that moment. Sooner or later, we will no longer feel happy. That's when we should know we stopped pursuing our dream, and once again try to find the path again.Sometimes, if we wait too long, we will never get to wear we are supposed to get to, and wind up doing what we feared the most... Wasting life to the point where we become empty.
It's a form of depression, I think. We feel as though we are missing something in life and then dwell on that emotion because we don't know what to do with ourselves. Sometimes it grows to the point where we are all bitter and hating the sight on oneself.
It's a fear everyone feels, to hate life to the point where we cannot die and there is nothing we can do to to ourselves from sitting and twiddling our thumbs, sitting in a job we all hate and still, do nothing.
I think it's something that I have always thought about, but never really acknowledged. The past few days, I've contemplated what I was doping and why I was doing it. It was by sudden chance that I picked the book up and opened the cover. I was astounded that it told the story of the boy, Santiago...
It related to how I felt about life. How everything we do, we can learn about everything. We can feel the life of what we were about to lose but regained. We can do nothing in life, or we can do everything. I don't know what I want to do, but I know I want to do something.
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4 comments:
Thanks for changing the look of your page. my old eyes now can read it.
As for doing something with your life, you are at one of the best places to be to prepare for that something. Sometimes in our rush to do something we forget the lessons we learned as children. We must crawl before we walk, we must coo and gurgle before we talk, we must observe a great deal of our world before we can even begin to understand it, basically everything we do is in tiny little baby steps of learning and gaining insight and understanding before we can achieve our “something”. It is easier now to take those steps, and no matter how small or vague those steps are, my little bloggin buddy, they are so much easier now then to fall by the wayside, and try to revisit it later (old dogs, new tricks).
And stuff like that...
First off I'd like to say that you did an amazing job on this blog - good job. Second of all, I can totally relate to where you're coming from. I think I kind of rushed into college because I was scared of getting stuck in my small town forever - because they way I always saw it was if you don't get out of there fast enough - you NEVER get out.. ever! I was afraid that if I didn't keep moving on with my life, I would do exactly what those people you were talking about did- made excuses and got stuck working at my minimum wage job forever. There's so much to see and do in world, and you only get one chance to experience it- so I say, take the horse by the reigns and giddee-up! I still don't know if this was the right choice for me, but the way I see it- its better to be still going and thinking at the same time, then sitting around doing nothing.
Long time reader, first time poster. Really enjoyed this entry Tim, but seeing as I have been insanely busy I have not had the time to sit down and formulate a decent response.
I can relate to not wanting to stay in one place and not wanting to trust my fate to some imaginary sky fairy that arbitrarily decides the course of my life. I never really had too many friends in high school or the town I lived in so I never saw my friends wasting their lives in dead end jobs. But later in life I saw enough of that to dissuade me from doing the same and I have certainly seen my fair share of people trying to hide from it all in a bottle or someplace worse.
There is a very large and fascinating world out there full of interesting people, some are content to view it through a screen or in a book and others want to go out and actually touch it and breathe the air in faraway places. Some folks travel to lush resorts or take cruises on gaudy sea-going palaces with brief stop-overs at exotic countries just long enough to say that they have actually been there. There is that rare segment of the population that want to go someplace and actually experience what a place has to offer;warts and all.
College is a place with plenty of warts, it can be a scary and downright intimidating place especially for people that end up coming here straight from home. My escape was joining the military I was out of my parents house at 18 and living on my own and less than a year after moving out I was in Victoria. It does not really matter if you are a block, city, province or country away from that place you felt you needed to get out of because it always changes things on a monumental level.
College is something that has a great deal of significance and legend attached to it; it’s a place of higher learning, the start of a grand voyage, and often the spot for the wildest parties and most hedonistic indulgences imaginable.For a “mature” student like me college is like a job, except I have to pay to work here so I tend to save my partying and hednonistic indulgences for those rare moments of free time.
t is exciting and overwhelming sometimes to be in a new place doing new things and all too easy to get down and discombobulated over any number of things. Some people have Jesus, some Allah the merciful, others Yahweh, the list goes on ad nauseum but many people use religion like a crutch to prop them up when they need it. People need that god trip(like a junky needs junk)to keep them from feeling empty and some of us are just happy with grabbing life by the short and curlies and hanging on for all we are worth.
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